Create Success -- One Goal at a Time

Success is the progressive realization of meaningful goals. This definition means that you will continually realize success one goal at a time with another goal waiting to be realized.

Goals, by definition, are: measurable, achievable, observable and timely—you set your own goals—and how to measure them.

Goals are quantitative (winning an award, meeting an earnings goal or sales quota, obtaining a new job or promotion, getting married, losing weight, pulling off an event you organized, taking a trip, learning a sport, etc.) or they can be qualitative (forgiving someone, facing a crises with tact, compassion, level headedness and leadership, or reaching out to others, changing a bad habit, improving communication or relationship skills, etc).

Quantitative and qualitative goals may be declared in every area of your life, and if they are important to you, they are how you create a meaningful life.

The most important aspect of creating a meaningful life is your Inner Thoughts and Feelings. Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings include your ambitions, your body sensations, your mood, the images you envision for yourself. This is your private domain—it is where your true identity is defined and your integrity is rooted.

We have an ideal image about ourselves and we tell the world with statements like, “I’m the kind of person who…” “I usually….” or “I think that kind of person is….”

These statements reveal our belief system, which aids us in navigating our world. If our belief system is unexamined as the world changes around us, we may become inflexible or rigid and unable to adapt to a changing world. Thus this becomes the biggest threat to ongoing success and fulfillment.

Our body is complicit in supporting our belief system. Even though your thoughts and feelings are internal, they give off clues despite your desire to appear cool, calm and collected. When you are nervous your palms may sweat, or you may clench your teeth when angry, or frown when worried, or you may blush when embarrassed.

Being familiar with your body’s patterns and what triggers certain feelings will give you valuable information so that you can make conscious choices, which will contribute to setting and achieving meaningful goals.

Identifying One’s Thought and Feelings:

• Find a time and quiet place you can avoid interruption and write your thoughts. Journaling is an excellent way to help your mind explore more deeply—simple notes in a notebook or day planner is OK. Avoid making this into a major project. Committing 10 minutes every day to write thoughts and feelings is an excellent way to make this technique work for you.

• Pay attention to your body’s sensations in every moment. Even as you read this, are you feeling resistance? Are your thoughts ones of being a naysayer or judgmental. Are you thinking this won’t work for me? Are you thinking this is a ‘dumb’ idea? Where are the thoughts registering in your body—pit of your stomach, throat, neck, forehead or back of your head?

• Allow this to be an adventure or an experiment. You are the subject of your research and you may find new and wondrous things about yourself, or you may find possibilities for growth and renewed commitment to your own magnificence!

Examine the Beliefs you Hold Consciously and Unconsciously:

• Make a list of the beliefs you hold. Write them down regardless of whether they are yours originally, or those you inherited. Keep them focused on YOU. Avoid generalities.

• Consider using the following technique: “I believe that _________is_________.

• Fill in the first blank with each of the following words, using them as prompts. Fill in the second blank with your belief about the first word—write the first thought about the first word because that is your unconscious thought coming through. The unconscious mind holds the truth of the matter in our lives. Success… Money…. God…. Marriage…. Family…. Life…. Death…. Education…. Time…. Giving…. Receiving…. Spirituality…. Add to the list as you are inspired to examine deeper.

Observe Your Patterns:

Your mind can multi-task. Part of your mind can be an observer. Observe yourself as you go about your life. Begin during non-stressful situations to get the hang of self-observation. Then increase the observation process gradually to observing yourself all the time. For example: Begin by observing yourself going into a meeting or seeing your family, or driving. Notice how you react when someone cuts you off or you have a disagreement with someone at work or family—is there a difference when you disagree with someone at work than with a family member? If you are playing with your children, or hugging someone or petting your pet, notice what you are thinking and how you feel. The key is to Notice. Avoid judgment. Avoid berating yourself. Just—Notice.

Notice:

• How connected are you to your body? Your feelings?

• Begin to notice when you feel good and where in your body the feeling is located. What types of interactions or actions leave you feeling good?

• Begin to notice when you feel anxious and where in your body that feeling is located. What types of interactions or actions left you feeling anxious?

• Begin to observe your relationship with your ‘gut feelings.’ What do you they tell you? When do you connect with them? When do you avoid them?

• Notice that Feelings follow Thoughts. Notice when you have happy thoughts you have happy feelings. Conversely notice when you worry, have angst or negative thoughts—your happy feelings are gone--puffed into the ethers.

Determine What You Want:

You have a plethora of information about yourself. You know yourself better than ever before and even if you knew yourself well before you started, then you have added the habit of continual self-observing.

Review what you have learned and determine whether your beliefs, thought patterns and subsequent feelings are helping or hindering you to achieve your next meaningful goal—your next glorious success. Invite the meaning in your life to rule your thoughts, which create your feelings. What an exciting and glorious journey you have begun. You are empowered and no one can take it away from you.

If the answer is—No—then revise your beliefs so they will support your intentions. Consciously choose new thought patterns—identify the thoughts that inspire you; ones that propel you toward your goal.

The majority of people engage a life coach to jump start the process of creating Inner Thoughts and Feelings that will move them toward a greater life vision.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Author, Inspirational Leader empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

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